How conscious breathing can change our world especially in times of turmoil and pandemic — a conversation with Scott Simons
Scott Simons is a man I admire on many levels. His brain is astute, sharp, and open. His capacity to inspire real world change while embodying a humbling social conscience is evident through his work with youth in Montreal and his influence in the corporate world.
13 years have passed since we last spoke or worked together!
Who am I to speak to this? Just one dude who has struggled with commitment — for decades — imploding many a great relationship.
Two characteristics have made it feel impossible to stick around with any one person — no matter how wonderful and perfect a match they may have been.
One is that I have a high need for love.
Two is an equally high need for freedom.
The tension between freedom and love pulled me in opposite directions, and ended a handful of truly worthy relationships.
My first real insight about what commitment is came a while back…
As a therapist and mentor helping men grow their relationship muscles, I’ve come to see a pattern.
The #1 complaint from female partners (who often reach out for help first) is the same as what most men wish for when they see me privately:
“to become more present”
This longing to be “here and f*cking now” as one of my clients Frank is fond of saying, comes with a second and even more heartfelt wish:
“to feel more authentically connected”
These are not just words.
Both the yearning and the pain of it’s absence are real.
When it comes to ADHD
It ain’t no VD
But let’s not fool or bluff
It’s indeed a double edged sword, no guff
There are gifts within the debris of this great hurricane
Supers Powers potent and buried, not to be feigned.
Some folks say “treat the person not the symptom.”
Look beyond the problem, seek a greater purpose… I call that wisdom.
The ancient stoics would say, don’t ignore the math
The obstacle is the path
Instead of 2D diagnoses which flatten our complex reality
What if we embrace the difficult and stunted parts of our humanity
There were times after a tense disagreement or beguiling misunderstanding with my wife, where I would wake up in the middle of the night, anxious and sweaty, staring at the back of her wild mane of hair, pondering…
If only she would be more…
I used to have the same relationship to my wife as I did to nature.
I was in awe of her natural power and wild beauty.
I loved being around her when she made me feel good.
But I was a cranky and controlling mess when she did not.
I have the seasonal allergies (to many…
Now, if you are already doing everything you can to limit the risks, prepare for the future and increase the health and safety of yourself (as well as your loved ones and society) externally, there is one elephant left in the room…
What can I do about my ANXIETY?
As more and more of us are isolated and locked down in our homes, anxiety (the anticipation of a dreadful future) and it’s bedfellows…
Years ago, I was a young buck out of therapy school, eager to cut his teeth on tough cases and prove something.
You can see where this is going, but there are a few twists in the story I never expected…
This article is a confession to all the parents I ever worked with and a dare to fellow helping professionals who work with families.
If you are a parent reading this, I imagine you’ve looked far and wide for the silver bullet to help your family. You’ve also likely invested the countless hours of reading and perhaps hundreds —…
I look at social media having promised to be the space we host our groups and friendships, like some digital community center.
This is a showdown between…
But, I won’t pretend to be impartial. I am an unabashed movement lover.
If you disagree and are a fan of exercise, don’t sulk or turn away. I dare you to comment and tell me why at the bottom.
If you think this comparison is unnecessary, I might agree.
If you get the value of both, power to you.
Here’s the rub for me.
It’s totally personal.
One, I hate exercise.
Two, I hate what it does to the vast majority of friends and family, being told they need to do it for their health…
…to what they’re supposed to be doing…
to me… to their teacher…whoever matters?
This is THE #1 question I get all of the time, from busy parents and caring adults tasked with herding and engaging kids and teens.
It’s also a question I struggled to answer myself for the first 10 of my 25 years working with kids and families.
It’s understandable that as parents, we routinely exclaim — out loud or in our heads —
“He’s just not focused!
“I can’t get their attention long enough…”
“Why don’t they show more respect?!”
It’s understandable because quality attention is the…