Author selfie ~ me and my wedding ring.

How I Found My Freedom To Love, As A Commitment Phobic Man

There is a path for those of us who dread losing ourselves with another

Who am I to speak to this? Just one dude who has struggled with commitment — for decades — imploding many a great relationship.

Two characteristics have made it feel impossible to stick around with any one person — no matter how wonderful and perfect a match they may have been.

One is that I have a high need for love.

Two is an equally high need for freedom.

The tension between freedom and love pulled me in opposite directions, and ended a handful of truly worthy relationships.

My first real insight about what commitment is came a while back from Gay and Katie Hendricks, pioneers of embodied couples work.

“Commitment is not what I say I will do,

but what I am doing already.”

Here’s how I understand this in my own words today…

Image by David Jurasek, created on Canva. See Instagram account for more.