How I Found My Freedom To Love, As A Commitment Phobic Man
There is a path for those of us who dread losing ourselves with another
4 min readJan 13, 2021
Who am I to speak to this? Just one dude who has struggled with commitment — for decades — imploding many a great relationship.
Two characteristics have made it feel impossible to stick around with any one person — no matter how wonderful and perfect a match they may have been.
One is that I have a high need for love.
Two is an equally high need for freedom.
The tension between freedom and love pulled me in opposite directions, and ended a handful of truly worthy relationships.
My first real insight about what commitment is came a while back from Gay and Katie Hendricks, pioneers of embodied couples work.
“Commitment is not what I say I will do,
but what I am doing already.”
Here’s how I understand this in my own words today…
