Stop Trying To Monetize Your Relationships, David!

This is what I need to remind myself of often to snap me back into reality

Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

I look at social media having promised to be the space we host our groups and friendships, like some digital community center.

Photo by Mathew Schwartz on Unsplash

But in these online spaces, the walls have eyes to spy on us and the air we breathe itself though “free” comes at a cost.

I behold the many ways we are being taught and encouraged to “build your brand”, “sell your image” and “leverage” relationships to make a living.

And I have many times fallen, for all of it.

Yet, frankly, I feel sick inside.

When I see my relationships this way… My gut feels queesy with greediness and needy. My heart feels hollowed out. My mind desperate to figure out how to get more followers and make them click here or there.

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This is not how I feel when I hang out with a friend, without the agenda to get them to like me, drink my coolaid or promote my work to their friends.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

No. I feel the opposite: full in my belly, warm in my heart, and my mind is sparking with inspiration.

When I stop listening to the dreaded hum and the noise around me, close my eyes and tune in, here is what comes to me to both ground me and snap me out of the spell of our vain and consuming society.

Relationships cannot be honoured by a dollar sum.

Friendship and trust cannot be bought or sold.

STOP believing the bullshit that you need to charge what you are worth.

You are not worth any amount.

You and I and all life is priceless, irreplaceable and bound by time to be birthed, to live and one day to die.

Photo by Rod Long on Unsplash

How do I live that?

I charge for my time and the resources I need to actually deliver what you say I will deliver and keep creating in ways that sustain.

Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

I treat money as it is — a shared symbol universally standing in for the value of resources and services, and the labour and energy needed to produce them but deeper still of a far more valuable commodity: TIME… my time alive.

Photo by Alex Perez on Unsplash

Our TIME alive is what we need to discern the worth of.

STOP falling in line with the fascism of meritocracy, believing you are virtuous if you are doing well in a rigged system or personally flawed if your bank account is low.

STOP buying into the promise that you have to earn the right to breath and be alive. No one can own that. No one can own you.

Be what you are: priceless.

See others as beyond comparison.

Treat them as freed slaves from the lying burden of worthiness.

Use money as a way to practice of giving and receiving — in equal measures — the energy and time spent between us to meet basic needs.

Leave your relationships to be as they truly are… un-chartered, off the books, un-billable and to be cherished as a tender, perishable and priceless gift…

Photo by Providence Doucet on Unsplash

Thank you for taking your precious time to read what my heart is saying to me.

Maybe you feel the same way?

Do share in comments if inspired.

Grateful Father, Husband, Therapist & Sensei

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