The #1 Trait Of Deeply Connected And Present Men

An interview with comedian Mike Andre led us to the secret shortcut for diffusing tension and connecting more authentically

David Jurasek


Image thanks to WIlliam Rouse on unsplash

As a therapist and mentor helping men grow their relationship muscles, I’ve come to see a pattern.

The #1 complaint from female partners (who often reach out for help first) is the same as what most men wish for when they see me privately:

“to become more present”

This longing to be “here and f*cking now” as one of my clients Frank is fond of saying, comes with a second and even more heartfelt wish:

“to feel more authentically connected”

These are not just words.

Both the yearning and the pain of it’s absence are real.

And the insight makes sense — mapping onto the 5 regrets of the dying (read more here)

But, HOW do we become more present and connected as men?!

It involves as trait which is not inherent but learned.

More about that soon.

But I do need to inform you that there are many well worn and trusted paths which lead to this sacred land of presence and connection.

Two I recommend to every man.

One is Mindfulness — a deep and winding path in wilderness that is endless.

The other is a more direct path, involving learning love habits based on attachment science. See Stan Tatkin’s work on the Couple Bubble as an example.

Pic thanks to John Moeses-Bauan on Unsplash

But, however essential and foundational love habits are, it’s still a slow lane

If you want to speed up and get there sooner...

Pic thanks to Hannah Cook on Unsplash



David Jurasek

Imperfect man wrestling with the paradox of being powerful and loving. Find me and our dojo at: