Is Your Man is Questioning Being With You?

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Here’s what I humbly suggest you could do, having been “that guy”

It is NOT your responsibility to save him,

to wait for him,

or to take care of him.

Wait! Who am I to be telling you all this…

Picture of myself (author) at crossroads deciding whether to stay or go…

1. own your own ambivalence.

One. Put more onus on him to convince you to stay.

“You can’t love someone and control them at the same time.” — Terry Crews

Two. Let go (even a little) of judging him.

Three. Normalize the feeling of uncertainty and being torn.

2. Make a mutual time bound commitment

Won’t it feel much better — if he doesn’t step up over time and you decide to end things — that you were clear way ahead of time about what you wanted and what the relationship needed for you to have stayed?

“True and lasting love is a lot like a garden. If we don’t invest the time to take care of it properly, the soil dries and the plants wither with neglect.

Lately, there are these weeds — like insecurity and wanting to be somewhere else — that have been taking over. I can’t tend this garden alone. I will only keep tending this garden if you join me in doing so.”

3. PLAN together to do W.I.T. (whatever-it-takes)

I bet you have MORE QUESTIONS, right?

“What do I do when the time runs out?”

“Where can I send him for more help?”

Pic by author — sign up here:

…we actually hav FIVE choices — not 2 — before us…

Last words… ​




Imperfect man wrestling with the paradox of being powerful and loving. Find me and our dojo at:

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David Jurasek

David Jurasek

Imperfect man wrestling with the paradox of being powerful and loving. Find me and our dojo at:

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